It feels like your whole world is falling apart. Not long ago, Jesus was hailed as a king, entering His royal city. Now He has been arrested and condemned to death. You promised, Peter, to go with Him to jail and to death. What happened to your promise? You said you would never betray Him, but now Satan is sifting you like wheat, his subtle lies are overwhelming you, and your heart is gripped with a crippling fear. You promised to go with Him to the cross. Well now He is waiting for you on Calvary, and you cannot seem to go.
St. Joseph looks down on you, watching your struggle. While you spin your wheels, the Church is waiting for you on Calvary to be espoused to you. The foster father of Christ can see that you’re about to leave your Bride at the altar and before you make a grave mistake, he has some fatherly advice to impart.
“Peter, why are you standing there? Your bride is waiting for you. The Church is about to be born from the heart of my foster son and He is entrusting her to you. Why do you wait? Because this is not the Bride you expected to take? Yet this Bride is more beautiful than any other on the face of the earth. You will know a deeper love in her than you could ever have imagined.
“Or perhaps you hold back because this is not the life you thought Jesus was promising you.[1] Perhaps you’re thinking, ‘This is not what I signed up for.’ I can understand your confusion. When I asked Mary to marry me, I thought I was settling down to a normal, peaceful life. When I found her pregnant with a child not my own, I almost left her.[2] It was not the life I expected and for a moment, I even questioned the integrity of my bride. Had I left her, I would have left behind the greatest gift God ever entrusted to me. I thought that pregnancy was the end for us; instead, it was just the beginning and I shudder to think of what I would have lost had I refused.
“You did not expect the Cross.[3] In fact, the Cross threatens to undermine your faith in everything Jesus promised you. This looks like the end to you, but it is only the beginning. From the Cross, Christ is offering you the Church as your Bride and if you accept her, your life will never be the same. She is the pearl of great price, the gift beyond compare. Will you refuse her?
“It’s time to be a man, Peter. A boy does whatever he wants, goes wherever he feels like.[4] A man makes sacrifices for those whom he loves. You left behind a lot to follow Christ, but you still had yourself and your own interests in mind when you did.[5] You are a father now and it is time for you to learn that it’s not about you. I was happy in Bethlehem; that was where my family was and where I hoped to make our home. Nevertheless, when God asked me to leave for Egypt, I did not hesitate. What else could I do when my family was at risk? A father’s job is to care for his wife and children and he doesn’t calculate the cost to himself.
“You will have innumerable children of this marriage. You cannot see it now, but you are the inheritor of Abraham’s promise and your children will be as numerous as the stars. Be a father to them. You have so much to teach them,[6] so many treasured moments of life to guide them through, so many joys to share with them![7] Love them, Peter.[8] Yes, it will be hard work providing for all these children, but never doubt for a moment that it is worth it. Day in and day out I worked hard to provide for Jesus and Mary, but in that work there was great joy because it was born out of love.
“Forward, Peter. No one who sets his hands to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom.[9] You will be tempted to turn back, just as you are tempted now. Don’t listen to those temptations. Be faithful to the Bride Christ has given you. Your life with her will not always be easy; a boy gives up at the slightest difficulty, but the Bride of Christ is depending on you to be a man, to guide her to Jesus. Don’t give up Peter, don’t abandon her. Keep your eyes fixed firmly on the goal,[10] keep walking with her towards Christ and never look back.
“Go on, Peter. What are you waiting for? A beautiful bride and an amazing life are waiting for you.”
With that, the voice disappears.
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| Guercino's St. Peter Weeping Before Mary |
As you ponder these words, you notice someone approaching you from behind. It’s Mary, the mother of Jesus. You can see that her face is streaked with tears. You can only imagine what the loss of her son is doing to her. And yet, in this moment, her attention is all on you. Her eyes seem to pierce into the very depths of your soul. She sees your fear, your doubt, she sees the effects of all Satan’s lies undoing you from within and, taking you by the shoulders, she begins to speak to you.
“Peter, what’s wrong? What are you doing here? Don’t you know Jesus is waiting there for you on the cross? Don’t you know the amazing plans He has for you? What’s holding you back? Is it shame? Don’t think of your sins.[11] No, you’re not perfect, but Jesus has known that from the beginning. He loves you for you and wants to give you a great gift. Why not simply receive it?
“But I see there’s more than shame that weighs you down; there’s fear too. You’re afraid that if you go to the cross, it will cost you everything. You’re afraid that if He asks you for everything, there will be nothing left for you. Do not be afraid, Peter. Yes, He’s asking you for everything, but He’s worth everything. You’ve left behind so much for Him: your family, your home, your career.[12] In fact, you thought you had given everything you had for Him. It turns out there is more. Peter, you can still give Him your life, you can still hand over your heart.
“What are you afraid of Peter? When you followed Him, did you ever lack for anything? He loves you with everything He has; you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. No, you won’t have the comfort of your own family or the security of your own possessions: you will have Him and that is it. That sounds like poverty, but don’t you realize? If you have Him you have everything.
“Do not be afraid, Peter, to go to the cross, to give Him everything, to have nothing but Him. I will walk with you; you are not alone. I will be a mother with you, to guide you, to point out the way when things are dark. But do go, Peter. Your whole life is waiting for you on Calvary Hill.
“Forward, Peter! Don’t just stand here. The cross is waiting for you. The altar of sacrifice is waiting for you. The mercy that will set souls free is waiting for you. Fear not, Peter. Go to the cross, dare to give all for love of Him, and do not look back.”
With that, Our Lady kisses you on the cheek and walks off into the distance, to be with her dying Son. And there you sit in darkness.
Meanwhile, far off on Calvary Hill, the Father heard these words from the heart of His Beloved Son:
“I pray, Father, that Peter’s faith may not fail. There’s so much more that awaits him, such greater things that he cannot even imagine right now. He will bless multitudes. He will set the world on fire with my love.[13] He may stumble now, but in the end, I pray that he turns back. Forward, Peter! We’re going to the ends of the earth, that the love of my heart may be known even there.”
So forward, Peter! Don’t just stand there in indecision. Your Bride is waiting for you.
[1] “You do not know what you are asking for. Are you able to drink the chalice that I am to drink?” – Matthew 20:22
[2] “Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to send her away quietly.” – Matthew 1:19
[3] “And he began to teach them that the Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. And he said this plainly. And Peter took him, and began to rebuke him.” – Mark 8:31-32
[4] “When you were young, you fastened your own belt and walked where you would.” - John 21:18
[5] “Behold, we have left everything and followed you. What then shall we have?” - Matthew 19:27
[6] “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations…teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.” – Matthew 28:19-20
[7] “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” – John 15:11
[8] “Simon, son of John, do you love me for than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” – John 21:15
[9] Luke 9:62
[10] “So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus; but when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, ‘Lord, save me.’” – Matthew 14:29-30
[11] “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” – Luke 5:8
[12] “He charged them to take nothing for their journey except a staff; no bread, no money in their belts; but to wear sandals and not put on two tunics.” – Mark 6:8
[13] “I came to cast fire upon the earth; and would that it were already kindled!” – Luke 12:49
