Talking with Jesus 101

When I was starting high school, the idea of knowing Jesus personally would have sounded strange to me. People follow Jesus, talk about Jesus, worship Jesus, but to know Jesus personally? That’s reserved for mystics and the twelve apostles. But every once in a while you meet someone who does seem to know Jesus personally. You can tell just by the way they talk about Him that Jesus isn’t an idea, or a historical figure they’ve heard about, He’s someone they’ve met and know very well. Most of the time you blow them off as just being Jesus freaks, but part of you wants to know how it is they developed such a deep relationship with Christ. Such was my attitude when I was starting high school. Jesus was important to me, He was God and I loved and respected Him for that. I had heard of Him, I admired Him and that was where my relationship with Him ended. That’s where I thought everyone’s relationship with Him ended.

This changed just as I was entering high school. I remember sitting at Mass in that chapel, listening to Fr. Ted give a sermon on the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. He told us a story about an elderly brother who I used to see at Mass before he passed away. Every day this brother could be found talking to Jesus, but not in the way people usually think of. This brother realized it was Jesus physically present behind those brass doors of the tabernacle. So every day he would a pull up a chair on the altar and could be found whispering to Jesus through the doors of the tabernacle. This wasn’t the only time I would hear about this sort of relationship with Christ. I was on a retreat a few years later and a priest was teaching me about prayer. He told me, “When you come into the chapel, you meet Christ. Say hello and speak to Him freely. Before you leave, always say goodbye. Just tell Him, ‘Jesus, I have to go now, but I love you. Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be back.’” Something about the way they spoke about Christ made me realize that they knew Him.

I decided to give a try. After all, Br. Henry seemed to have such a close relationship with Christ. Something about what he was doing worked, so why not just see what happens? I started taking time to make visits to Jesus hidden away in the tabernacle. Rather than kneel down and recite prepackaged prayers, I just talked to Him. I told Him about what was going on in my life, I asked Him questions, and talked things over with Him. To my amazement Br. Henry was on to something; I could have a conversation with Christ and I was getting know Him better every day.

Like getting to know anyone, you learn certain things about them over time. You learn the do’s and don’ts of the friendship. So today, I wanted to tell you about the four things I learned about my friendship with Christ.

Lesson One: Christ knows everything, so fudging the truth doesn’t work so well. It’s not that I was intentionally lying to Jesus, but the thing was, I was used to telling Jesus what I thought He wanted to hear, whether I meant it or not. I would kneel before Him and say things like this: “O Lord, Thou art so very good! Do thou vouchsafe to grant me on this my upcoming test an A. I promise O Lord, that in the future I will study with utmost diligence and do it all for thy greater glory. Amen.” Jesus would then tell me to cut the crap. It’s not that He was against old English or stock prayers, but He knew I didn’t mean it. It was true, I needed help to pass my test, but I didn’t have any intention of improving my study habits and Jesus called me out on it.

I repeated this mistake over and over again. “I am sorry for having committed _______ sin and promise never to commit it again (subtext: at least not until tomorrow),” “I’m sorry for cursing at ______ (subtext: but who are we kidding, he deserved it),” “Lord, I promise to do whatever you ask (subtext: so long as it’s what I was going to do anyhow.)” Every time I said these prayers, Jesus would call me out on the subtext. I had to learn to be honest with Him. Rather than hiding behind pious phrases, I began to talk things over with Him. I talked with Him about why I was having a hard time with my geometry tests, about what was keeping me from studying and I asked for His help through it. I talked to Him about sins I was struggling with, about why I kept going back to them, and He offered to help me through it all. I learned that Jesus wants to help me and if I’m willing to talk it over with Him, He can do that. I just need to be honest.

Lesson 2: Jesus loves me. Not to state the obvious, but the more I spoke with Jesus, the more I appreciated how good He was to me and how much He cared me. In fact, it was one of the first things I noticed about Him. When I came into His presence, I felt this peace and joy unlike anything I’ve ever known before. It’s kind of like that feeling you get when you’re happy to see someone you love, except to the umpteenth degree. Jesus loved me and wanted nothing more than my happiness. As time went on, I found his love shone through particularly in times of struggle.

While I was in college, I spent one summer working at a soup kitchen in Washington DC. It was a good experience, but not an easy one. I wanted so much to give myself entirely to Christ through that work. I wanted to serve Him well in His most distressing disguise of the poor, I wanted to be loving and caring and hardworking. But it wasn’t easy and I didn’t always do well at it. I’m naturally shy and going out of my way to talk to the men in the kitchen was really tough. I tried, but I didn’t do well. I’m hesitant to jump into work I don’t understand, so as much as I tried to help out in the kitchen, I often made more work for the kitchen chef through all the questions I asked. And I was in a very different environment than what I was used to. I was a kid from Maine, a rural, white area. I was in a different culture, among different sorts of people, who were much more conscious of those differences than was comfortable for me.

Towards the end of my time working in DC, I made a visit to Jesus in the chapel. I was tired and extremely frustrated with the way things were going. I was trying to do what He asked of me, but it wasn’t going that well and I felt broken and useless. As I talked this over with Jesus, I felt this sense of consolation, He was telling me it was going to be alright. As I talked more with Him, I could hear Him say, “I know you’re weak, I know this is hard for you, but I called you to it anyhow. It’s going to be alright.” Jesus offered me strength, comfort and let me know that I was loved and cared for. It was exactly what I needed right then.

Lesson 3: Jesus loves me too much to let me continue like I am. When I was a freshman in high school, I was reading a book by Mother Teresa called No Greater Love. I’m embarrassed to say it now, but I wasn’t impressed. I was an ambitious kid with a lot of talents and a lot of hopes for the future. I was working hard in school and doing very well. I wanted to go to Harvard, work as a lawyer for a while, run for senate and finally retire to the life of luxury on my own private yacht. I worked hard, my hard work would be justly rewarded, and the reward would be mine to enjoy. Mother Teresa was not of the same opinion. Mother Teresa insisted that my talents were to be used out of love for the poor, that my riches belonged to the poor, that I had a moral obligation to give of myself to those who had less. She told me this was what Jesus taught. I didn’t buy it, so I appealed to Jesus. Turns out Jesus didn’t agree with me either.
I went to the chapel, knelt before the Blessed Sacrament and started my rant about Mother Teresa. I told Him about how hard I worked for everything I had and everything I’d achieved. I looked at my classmates and saw them slacking off. It wasn’t my problem if they wound up working at McDonalds. They’d squandered what God had given them, they got what they justly earned. I deserved to keep everything I earned for myself. The more I talked, the more I realized Jesus would not affirm what I said. So I started to argue more, and He continued to push back. I tried to rationalize my possessiveness, but to no avail. Christ kept saying no to my greed, to my self –centeredness, to my pride. It was challenging for me to hear, but after six months of wrestling with this issue, I began to get the message. I started to let go of my possessions and instead began to give more of myself. I started doing things like shoveling snow for the elderly or tutoring kids at a local grammar school. And in this I found great joy. Jesus knew this, He saw me the way I was and loved me too much to let me stay there. He was stern, but that was part and parcel of love.

Lesson 4: He is always there. At every moment in my life, whether large or small, I’ve been able to come back to Jesus. Like that good friend you can always depend on in good times and bad, I know I can always find Jesus waiting for me in the tabernacle, ready to listen, to help, to guide me. He was the first person I came to when I got accepted to college, the first person I went to when one of my friends passed away, the first person I went to when I was struggling to keep afloat with my school work. No matter what was going on, He was someone who I could turn to, who would be there for me.

I encourage you to get to know this Jesus Christ. He’s there waiting for you, you just have to get to know Him and it can be as simple as just starting a conversation. There was a reason Br. Henry seemed to have such a great relationship with Christ: it was because He nurtured it. Some of you think this is nuts, but I encourage to give it a try. It’s a chance for you to meet the greatest friend you’ll ever know.